hissy spitty....

It's Saturday morning and Gagan has just left for work... the first of many overtime weekends on Hulk. It reminds me of what I hate about this business. As I get older I feel less tolerant of the toll it takes on life and the various strange liberties it takes on the employees. I try to stand up for what I believe in... for what it's worth. Reminds me of the principal of my high school calling me a revolutionary.. he was so angry. At the time I was secretly honoured to be called that.. it's how I was brought up.. to always question and think for myself and never just accept what was happening . Eyes wide open and mind aware. But I don't want to be at the front of the pack.. on point... I'm much happier giving support and encouragement to the stronger ones. I think I get too emotionally caught up in it all... and end up not sleeping and worrying too much. I think I am like our cat Tufty and Gagan like Pippin. I hiss and spit and growl and mutter and grumble my way through the world... and he smiles and glides and watches with his eyes twinkling, never unhappy. Always ready to rub my head and say 'don't worry... everything is fine' .. the yin to my yang.

I am watching a tv show about a young guy in Mongolia learning the local throat singing and traveling around. He has one week to master this infinitly difficult skill and perform at a festival. The sounds are like something from a weird instrument and I never knew a human made them! It's the kind of fantastic tv we get here... makes me feel so connected to the world. Traveling from the living room couch. Nice big plasma tv helps!

Never enough hours in the non-working day to do all the things we'd like to. Watch all the movies, read all the books.. go all the places. Computer things to play with... unpacking the books... putting up pictures.... and just sitting around and generally contemplating your navel! Those moments when you're 10 years old and do nothing for hours... just sit and daydream :) Still - I am the one at home so I'm not complaining!